“That’s mean. You’re mean.” Jesse pouted, curling in on himself. Michael rolls his eyes, though it’s undeniably with a sense of fondness rather than annoyance.
“Yeah, well. I’m not exactly a ‘nice’ person. You should know this.” He replies, reaching out and grabbing Jesse, wrapping his arms firmly around the other boy’s stomach and pulling him snugly against his side.
“I like you. You’re nicer than you think.” Jesse replied, quickly snuggling against Michael’s side again. A quiet scoff slips past Michael’s lips. If he didn’t know any better, he’d be convinced Jesse was part cat with how clingy and affectionate he was.
“You’re also weird and the only person who thinks that.” Michael objected. Jesse didn’t say anything in response. He simply yawned and buried his nose into the crook of Michael’s neck. Michael could deflect all he wanted, but Jesse knew the truth, he was a sucker for affection just like he was. If Michael was as mean as he claimed to be, he wouldn’t be letting him be so close to him like this, wouldn’t let him be seeing him in his most vulnerable and defenseless state.
Jesse’s yawn distracted Michael from the banter and reminded him that they’re both tired, Jesse probably more so than him for once. He tangled his fingers in Jesse’s hair once more and sighs, gently massaging the other boy’s scalp.
“We should probably sleep.” He whispered reluctantly. He’s exhausted, Jesse’s exhausted from working and helping his family prepare for the holiday. Sleep is the logical next step, but he doesn’t want to go to sleep. He knows that in the morning, he’ll have to go home. Away from the warm comfort of Jesse’s presence and back into the cold and empty place that is his father’s home. It was simply inevitable.
“We should.” Jesse agreed quietly, closing his eyes as Michael suggested. Michael felt his heart sink. Part of him was secretly hoping that Jesse would protest, convince him to stay up just a tiny bit longer, but Jesse’s worn out, and Michael knew better. He couldn’t be any greedier than he already had been all day.
“Right… good night, Jesse.” He said, his voice sounding a little too forced. Damn it. Jesse was incredibly perceptive. He’d surely notice that.
“Is something wrong?” Jesse asked. Michael internally grimaced. There it was, Jesse never failing to miss whenever he let even the slightest bit of his internal conflict slip through in his voice. After the back and forth earlier, Michael done trying to keep up a front with Jesse, so he decides to just give in and lay his thoughts out bare for him to see,
“I don’t want to go to bed. I don't want the day to end. I don’t want to go back there.” He admitted, his voice barely audible. Even now, in the safety of Jesse’s room with nobody but the loving boy beside him to hear, it feels foreign to admit some loud, as if unseen force was secretly lurking, listening, just waiting to punish him. Punish him for what? He didn’t know. He felt like he deserved to be punished. A shiver ran up his spine, though not from the cold.
Jesse frowned. He didn’t know what to say. He wished he could just offer the answer and make it all be okay, but he couldn’t fix everything, he couldn’t make it any easier for Michael to go home. He couldn’t take away the stress from Michael’s life. Hell, if he had it his way, Michael wouldn’t have to go home at all. He could just stay here and live with his family and he wouldn’t have to deal with his father ever again, but that just wasn’t how the world worked.
“You don’t have to leave right away. I’m sure my mom would let you stay for breakfast.” Jesse spoke up after a few moments of silence, taking one of Michael’s hands and drowsily intertwining their fingers together. If Jesse couldn’t keep Michael forever, then he’d keep him for as long as he could. Michael let out a soft huff, the corner of his lips quirking up in a half smile despite himself. How he had ended up with a boy like Jesse, he still had no idea.
“Yeah. That’d be nice actually.” Michael muttered. It wasn’t an ideal solution. In a perfect world, Michael wouldn’t have had to go home. He would get to fall asleep beside Jesse and wake up next to him the next morning and go about their day together, but this would do for now. The room fell into a comfortable silence, the only sounds being the two boys’ breathing and the faint background noise of Michael’s white noise machine. Michael began to trace absentminded patterns on Jesse’s back, his thoughts going nowhere in particular. The sensation of Michael’s fingers only served to push Jesse closer toward the edge of consciousness, and Michael could feel the rise and fall of Jesse’s chest grow steadier beneath his fingertips. Michael’s own eyelids weighed heavy as well, and they threatened to drop lower and lower despite his reluctance to succumb to sleep’s embrace. It was strange, on most other nights, he would lay in bed, tossing and turning and mentally pleading with himself to just fall asleep. Now, he was fighting sleep just for the sake of spending more time with Jesse. God, he was weak. Absolutely weak for this man. He should feel shame, but his mind was too muddled to bother. Instead, he threw caution to the wind and buried his nose into Jesse’s hair. It smelled nice, like a mixture of pine and vanilla. It was fitting. He closed his eyes, soaking up the warmth of Jesse’s skin, his scent.
“Goodnight Jesse.” Michael whispered. He was unsure if Jesse could even hear him. The other boy might’ve already fallen asleep. To Michael’s surprise, Jesse shifted slightly, burying himself a little deeper underneath the blankets, which signalled that he was indeed still awake. Jesse smiled slightly and gave Michael’s hand the softest of squeezes, an action which made Michael’s heart do flips in his chest.
“G’night Michael. I love you.” Jesse murmured. Michael’s breath hitched. There it was. There was that one little statement that was so easy for Jesse to say but felt monumental to Michael. Somehow, after having heard it dozens of times, it still managed to catch Michael off guard in the best way possible. A shaky breath escaped his lips and he placed a tender kiss to Jesse’s forehead, holding it there for a few seconds before resting his chin atop the other’s head.
“Good night. I love you, too.” Michael replied, his voice no more than a hushed whisper. It was true. He did love him. He loved him more than words could say. He didn’t know how he could make Jesse see that, or how he could possibly deserve that love, but he sure wasn’t going to let go of it. He’d keep Jesse by his side if it was the last thing he’d ever do, because he was the one good thing he had in his life.
Michael was a greedy bastard, he knew damn well, but maybe, just for tonight, as he drifted off into a restful slumber, he’d allow himself to be.